The Chantastic Blog

It hasn’t escaped my attention that I was blogging nearly everyday a year ago even though I was swamped with work, yet this year it’s at a much less frequent rate despite me having a much lighter workload. This blog is truly my platform for procrastination.

As part of an assignment for a course I’m thinking, I had to model one of the following things:

- How a particular book became a best-seller
- How one falls in love with another person
- How market bubbles happen
- How Barack Obama was elected President

Since I’ve always been a fan of taking the path less travelled, I chose the most un-business school-like topic given: the model on falling in love.

The comments on my model: “Thoughtful, complex but not overly so. Well done. Mark: A”

The irony of me getting an A on an assignment about falling in love is not lost on me: I’ve got the theory down, but execution, not so much.

Actual thought process today:

Well, it’s 1:30 now. If I order some food right now and pick it up in 10 minutes, I can be back by 2:00. That’s perfect because the Fed is going to release their decision on the overnight lending rate and their statement on the economy, and I don’t want to miss that. The way I’ve got this set up, I can get home just in time for 2 PM, and then I can listen to the analysis of the statement on CNBC while I eat my food. This is brilliant timing.

(pause)

Wow, I’m a full blown MBA nerd.

Today, I saw one of the most unbelievable and surreal scenes in my life.

I was walking up the left side of Yonge Street (that is, I was walking on the sidewalk going against the flow of traffic - this is important as you’ll see in a bit) when a girl in a skimpy dress came out of a Mr. Sub holding a sandwich and started walking a few feet ahead of me.

After walking a couple of blocks, a Mercedes with the sunroof down driving on the right side of Yonge (that is, going in the same direction as us, but on the other side of the street) suddenly U-turned and stopped a few feet in front of the girl. I assumed it was a friend she knew who was saying hi.

Not quite.

Instead, the guy in this Mercedes was the epitome of sleaze. He was middle-aged (likely in his 40s or early 50s), wearing a suit without a tie and the top button of his shirt open, and had a cigarette dangling between two of his fingers. He had basically U-turned to try to pick up this girl. This actually happened.

He said something (I couldn’t hear what he was saying because I was listening to my iPod, and besides, I wouldn’t have heard anything he said anyway because I was in total shock) and then basically motioned for her to hop into the front seat of his Mercedes. Again, this actually happened. But it gets better.

She ignored him and kept walking. You’d think the guy would give up and drive away, right?

You’d be wrong.

Instead, he pulls another U-turn because the girl had walked past his car and he needed to catch up. So he’s on the far side of the street driving his car, keeping it parallel with the girl on my side of the street. That’s right - he was at a cruising speed of about 5 km/h. And he continued to do this for a good two blocks, all the while motioning towards her and trying to get her to hop into his fancy car. Two blocks - he did this for at least a minute. But it gets even more bizarre.

There was a light up ahead, followed by a car that was illegally parked in his right lane. So to beat the red light and keep pace with the girl, he crossed the intersection and parked his car right behind the car that was already there. I’m convinced that he did this so that he could hop out of his car, cross the street, and continue to proposition this girl. But the girl saw where his car was and took a quick left at the intersection to avoid him, thus ending one of the most amazingly surreal moments of my life.

I cannot fully explain how unbelievable this situation was, and how ridiculous it was the way it unfolded. The thing is, this guy had clearly done this before. And he wouldn’t be doing this if it hadn’t worked before. I have to ask, who the hell would actually get in that car? A sleazy stranger in a Mercedes propositions you on the street - well, don’t mind if I do! Really? Is this what passes for romance in Toronto? I sure hope this isn’t a representation of how guys interact with girls in this city because there’s not a chance I would even think of doing anything remotely close to that.

When profs lecture, they usually go back and forth in the room if the class is spread out. They lecture to the left side of the room for a while, then move to the right side so that both sides get his attention during the class. Usually, profs make the switch once every 30 seconds or so.

The thing is, a lot of profs don’t lecture to the entire side of the class. What they normally do is establish direct eye contact with someone on one side and talk straight to that person, and then move to the other side and find a different person to make eye contact with.

More times than not, that person is me.

For reasons that are beyond my comprehension, if I’m anywhere within eye contact distance of the prof, he or she will hone in on me. I was reminded of this a couple of days ago when I was sitting on the left side of the classroom, and anytime the prof went to the left side, he would literally talk right to me for 30 seconds, and then switch back to the other side. And then come back to have a one way dialogue with me half a minute later.

I have no idea why the profs always single me out for this, but they do. It’s happened to me for as long as I can remember, back before my MBA to when I was doing my Master’s degree, and probably back to my undergrad days. It might have even been happening in grade school. I’ve been experiencing this for years, and have no idea why. Is there something that makes it easy to lecture to me? Do I look like I’m a good listener? Am I giving off a friendly vibe? Do I appear non-threatening? I have no clue.

The next time you’re in a class, take a look at the prof. If the room is big enough where he can’t stay in one spot to lecture to everyone, he’ll have to go back and forth between both sides. Notice that as he goes back and forth, he’ll focus on the same few people, over and over again. And think of how awkward that is for that person to be the subject of the prof’s attention for the entire class.

I’m that person. For every class.

With school starting again, I’ve had to buy a few textbooks, often at outrageous prices. And everytime I’ve gone to buy textbooks, I’ve received the same warning:

“You have until Date X to return this for a full refund. And if the plastic wrapping is opened, you can’t return it.”

Now let’s think about this. The limit on the return date makes sense, and it’s used for return policies everywhere. I’m fine with that.

But not allowing the plastic wrap on a textbook to be opened? Really? This is the policy that’s going to stop people from returning books? I just spent $200 on your freakin’ textbook. If I opened the plastic wrap but still want to return the textbook, is that really going to stop me? Do you think it’s that hard for me to find a place that will re-wrap my book for a couple of bucks and then move the sticker to the new wrapping? Really?

I went to Chinatown after class Tuesday morning to get some takeout dim sum. You know how to quickly figure out if you’re getting a good deal on your Chinese food? When you walk into a restaurant and notice that there’s not a single white person around, and that the average age of the people eating is 65, chances are you’re getting a good deal.