It felt lucky, smelled unlucky
As I was waiting to board my flight back to Toronto from Edmonton, I heard an announcement that our flight was extremely full. And let’s face it - nobody wants to be stuck in a cramped seat on an airplane for four hours. Fortunately, there were a bunch of varsity athletes wearing Wilfred Laurier gear waiting for the flight. Why was this fortunate? Because about 2/3 of those athletes were girls, and there are worse things than to be stuck between a couple of young, good looking female athletes for four hours, which was the scenario I was picturing in my head.
Somehow though, I managed to be put in an aisle seat without anyone sitting beside me, which was a scenario I actually preferred to having two good looking girls sitting around me - I’ve got priorities, after all. But then the cabin crew announced that one more passenger was coming on, so they had to re-open the door. I assumed the person was going to be sitting in the empty seat beside me, and hoped that it was one of the female athletes.
Naturally, a twenty-something stoner dude walked in. Fantastic. I resigned myself to spending four hours with Cheech & Chong’s long lost son, only he sat down in a different seat. Perfect. Things are going my way - I’m sitting in probably the only row on the whole flight that isn’t full.
Except…I’m sitting about two rows from the washroom. Halfway through the flight, a huge lineup for the washroom forms by my seat. You know why lineups form outside a washroom? Because someone’s been in there a very long time. As in so long, one of the flight attendants actually knocked on the door just to “see if everything’s OK in there”.
The guy finally came out of the washroom, followed by the next person going in…and the rest of the lineup going back to their seats. And why did the rest of the lineup go back to their seats, you ask? Because they got a whiff of what the guy had been doing in there for a very long time. Do you remember who sat right where the lineup had formed, and thus had to experience everything the lineup experienced, except he couldn’t escape it by going back to his seat?
People bring earplugs on planes. I should have brought noseplugs.
