Going to the grocery store is always an adventure
I was in the frozen food section at the Metro grocery store the other day when I saw a middle-aged fat guy with a goatee who worked there pushing a cart full of boxes. I got out of the way and started looking at some food items. I looked up again five seconds later to see a middle-aged fat guy with a goatee walking towards the cart full of boxes.
This contradiction didn’t register in my head for a few seconds since I wasn’t really paying attention. Then it hit me - how the hell did he go from pushing the cart to walking towards the cart? Did he teleport himself? I was totally confused, so I looked up again. The middle-aged fat guy with a goatee who was pushing the cart was now talking to the middle-aged fat guy with a goatee who was walking to the cart. They were two different people - what are the odds of that?
Having solved this complex mystery, I walked down a different aisle in the frozen food section. And that’s when I came upon a middle-aged fat guy with a goatee loading pizzas into a freezer. Seriously.
So if you or anybody you know has the ambitious goal of working in the frozen food section at the Metro on the corner of Yonge and College, you know what the requirements are.
Anyway, after my encounter with the fat goatee triplets, I went to the checkout aisle. As I stood there waiting, someone started waiting behind me, but I didn’t notice because I was listening to my iPod with my back towards him. Then I got a whiff of this really strong, gross smell, like the stench of garbage or meat gone bad. You know how you react when you’re in a crowded elevator and someone decides to let some gas go? Well, that was my immediate reaction. My head was moving in so many different directions trying to find the source that the girl from The Exorcist probably got jealous. And then I saw the person behind me. He was holding a mysterious black garbage bag in his dirty hands that looked to be about 1/3 full. I have no idea what was in that bag, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t have to bring it to the grocery store. And I’m definitely sure he didn’t have to go to the grocery store with it as he bought raw food with the same dirty hands that he was holding the bag with.
Yep, still lots of crazies here in Toronto.
