The Chantastic Blog

May 30, 2008

It looks like a hockey fight, except it was at a school between a teacher and a student

I have to say, these ladies showed very good form during their brawl. They must have taken Michael Cooper’s advice about being slapped to heart. His commentary is absolute gold.

May 29, 2008

I have no idea what “lanced” means, and I don’t want to find out

Filed under: Baseball

How is Carlos Guillen even playing baseball right now? He definitely has extra incentive for taking a walk so he doesn’t have to run out any hits. And don’t expect him to do any sliding feet-first, either.

The next level of abuse is for him to sit on you

Filed under: Other Sports

This story is wacky enough as it is. But what puts it over the top is how the bamboo sword is casually dropped in the article as if it’s not a big deal. I don’t care if it’s made of bamboo, this looks like it’d hurt if someone beat me with it.

May 28, 2008

They considered calling it “Indiana Jones and the Blatant Cash Grab”

In case you missed it, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” earned $311 million worldwide through its first weekend. That’s led to Harrison Ford raising the possibility of returning to one of his other former roles while shooting down the possibility of another. No news on whether Ford would consider doing “The Fugitive 2″, where he’ll re-enact this scene in a retirement home and yell, “I didn’t take those pills!”

May 27, 2008

Hung like Big Willy

I think he’d actually make a good teacher. His positive attitude would be good for kids.
No mention of whether this year’s version of William Hung has plans to work in an orphanage since he’s always singing, “I am your brother, your best friend forever…”

It’s a miracle!

Even Dusty Baker couldn’t justify Corey Patterson after his latest brutal game, so he finally did what he should have done coming out of spring training.

May 26, 2008

I’d trade this guy for 10 bats…wait, that was supposed to be a joke

You know that old saying, “I’d trade that guy for a bag of balls”? Well, apparently inflation has raised the price of that phrase to a bag of bats. And in a shocker, you can tell this guy has never been interviewed on TV before.

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